Beautiful Women

When I am driving, my mind wanders from thought to thought.  No rhyme or reason to what pops up.  Recently, I found myself asking what makes a woman beautiful.  Such a random thought, but interesting.

As I focused on the thought looking for the common denominator, I began to browse my memory for all the truly beautiful women I have known throughout my life.   There is Terri S., Barbara V., Kathy O., Anne S., Eileen H., Elvira P., Dru R., Dyne, Gaby I., Janet A. and the list goes on and on.  Each of these women is amazingly beautiful. What do they all have in common? 

Is it perfect complexion?

How about the cut of their clothes or the style of their hair?

Are they all slim with the perfect figure looking like a fashion model?

Do they all have expensive, stylish jewelry? 

Are they blonde or brunette?

Do they have perfect cheekbones or striking eye color? 

Are they all young or old? 

Does it take money to be beautiful?

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It didn’t take me very long to figure out the answer.  It is so simple.  Every one of them has an amazing smile!  Their smile comes from an inner spirit of kindness.  They freely smile from the heart with abandon.  Beauty from the inside is real.  I see it all the time in the faces of women I know.    And, their beauty inspires others around them. 

I love smiles.  In fact, I am a bit of a smile connoisseur.  I can spot an insincere smile a mile off.  I recognize the tentative smiles, the evil smiles, forced smiles, frightened smiles, and the sad smiles.  I watch for smiles everywhere; for selfish reasons.  You see, the smiles of truly beautiful women make my day.  They lift my heart and leave me smiling.  I bet they lift yours too!  And, I know you have a beautiful smile that comes from the heart.  Share it generously with those around you.   

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Compromise

 
chocolate Labrador puppy looking up with concern

com·pro·mise [kom-pruh-mahyz]

noun

  1. a settlement of a dispute in which two or more sides agree to accept less than they originally wanted
  2. something that somebody accepts because what was wanted is unattainable
  3. exposure to danger or disgrace

verb

  1. to settle a dispute by agreeing to accept less than what was originally wanted
  2. to undermine or devalue something or somebody by making concessions
  3. to expose somebody or something to danger or risk

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

It is kind of interesting that the third definition for compromise is “presenting danger or disgrace.” I never thought of compromise as inherently dangerous. Compromising on techniques, timing, dinner plans, house design, selecting a school for your kids, and where to take a vacation isn’t risky or disgraceful. It just might be a matter of respecting the other person enough to try for a win-win.

However, compromising on your principles is another story. The danger is to your integrity and that is dangerous indeed!

Have You Ever Noticed…..

  • the better the surgeon, the messier the OR?

  • that as soon as you have a little money saved, one of your own pets gets sick or your car breaks down?

  • the smaller the dog, the bigger the attitude?

  • you spend most of your day picking up after others?

  • when someone asks you to meet to discuss a problem, he usually means for you agree with him and keep your thoughts to yourself?

  • there are mornings you feel like you never left work the day before?

  • how easy it is to jinx yourself?

  • ends never meet?

  • best laid plans aren’t?

  • Murphy’s law really exists?

  • having a DVM, RVT, MD or PhD after our name doesn’t grant intelligence, emotional maturity, power or authority? We still have to earn those!

  • we can’t change people? Changing ourselves is hard enough.

  • the final word never is the final word?

  • time does heal all emotional wounds if you let it?

  • worrying is just a waste of energy?

  • when all is said and done, things work out?

(photo by Sasse Photo)

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Kryptonite

Kryptonite

I have been watching a couple I know struggle in their marriage. They really do love each other and their children, but, sometimes it is really hard to see the love.

I am not a trained psychologist. However, I have 32 years experience as a spouse in a very successful relationship – both from my perspective as well as my husband’s! I have messed up frequently enough I have finally gotten a handle on this relationship thing! Therefore, I may have something to offer here.

What do you do when your spouse is “messing up”? Maybe he leaves the cap off the toothpaste or never cleans the kitchen. Maybe he always leaves the lid on the toilet up. Or, he drinks the last of the coffee on a regular basis, but doesn’t tell you. Maybe your spouse doesn’t work hard enough at his job to bring home the money you would like. So, what should a wife do?

Women fight so hard to have power in life and then try to bring this to their marriage. Wives don’t even realize the power they do have and how easy it is to abuse. The power of the spoken word can be awesome or awful. It can fortify or undermine a marriage. It can uplift or tear down. Ask any wife and she will tell you that she wants to help her marriage grow stronger. But, watch what she says to her spouse on a daily basis and you may get a different picture. Men are much more sensitive animals than many women realize. They require uplifting words, not words delivered with a ball peen hammer.

It is not our job to fix our spouses. It is our job to uplift each other. We need to be “finders of good”. Thank each other for the little things– “Thank you for bringing in my coffee cup from the bedroom. I forgot it was there.” “Thank you for picking up the dog poop – I know you don’t like doing that.” “You did such a great job of organizing the garage!”

My mother’s favorite saying was “chose your battles”. The little things we could harp on are just little things. Is it reasonable to get bent out of shape over the coffee or toothpaste tube when he is loving, supportive, kind, great with the kids and gives you foot rubs anytime you ask? Will the world stop revolving because the laundry isn’t done? Shoe – meet the other foot: Do you appreciate harsh words from your husband when you make a mistake or forget to do something you said you would do?

I realize this is rather simplified. I recommend keeping it simple. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the results you get over time if you uplift rather than tear your spouse down.

Don’t be the Kryptonite in your marriage (or any other relationship). Chose your words and your battles carefully. Create the type of marriage that is legendary ten generations later.

Sticks and Stones

“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I don’t believe this old childhood rhyme for a minute. Just as sticks and stones will leave a bruise or mark on the skin, words will injure the spirit. Words can warm someone or burn. They can’t be retracted and hurtful words probably will be remembered for a very long time.

Be a finder of good. Shine a light on others. Be a source of encouragement. Never be the source of negative comments, sarcastic humor, or unsolicited criticism.

This is true even for the words we speak to ourselves. What we say when we talk to ourselves is more powerful than anything anyone else can say to us. The trick is to replace negative self talk with positive.

Here is the challenge:
Each time we have a thought, it creates an electrochemical pathway in our brain. Each time we repeat the same thought it travels the same pathway. Each repetition digs the pathway a little deeper. Creating a new thought about the same subject takes conscious effort. We can’t just tell ourselves we aren’t going to think negatively. We have to replace the negative with positive to create new pathways in our brain.

Words have power. Choose your words carefully. Dale Carnegie once said “Any fool can criticize, condemn or complain and most fools do.”

I recommend if you find fault, lose it.

Which House Do You Live In?

“I got two A’s,” the small boy cried.
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very bluntly asked,
“Why didn’t you get three?”

“Mom. I’ve got the dishes done!”
The girl called from the door.
Her mother very calmly said,
“And did you sweep the floor?”

“I’ve mowed the grass,” the tall boy said,
“And put the mower away!”
His father asked him, with a shrug.
“Did you clean off the clay?”

The children in the house next door
Seem happy and content.
The same things happened over there,
But this is how it went:

“I got two A’s,” the small boy cried,
His voice was filled with glee.
His father proudly said,
“That’s great! I’m glad you live with me!”

“Mom I’ve got the dishes done!
The girl called from the door.
Her mother smiled and softly said.
“Each day I love you more.”

“I’ve mowed the grass.” the tall boy said.
“And put the mower away!”
His father answered with much joy.
“You’ve made my happy day!

Children deserve a little praise
For tasks they’re asked to do.
If they’re to lead a happy life,
So much depends on you.

Badger Leionnare

(If you know the author, please have him contact us – we would like to thank him for the poem)

There are many books and research papers on this subject. I recommend reading “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter as a good place to start.